08
To be honest with ya, I’ve been fortunate to meet some great people in my life. From awesome teachers and professors to great fellow students and coworkers. From grade school all the way up to today. With the advent of Facebook, people who I have known for over 40 years have reconnected with me. Some of these people grew up in the same neighborhood that I did. Some of them I met in elementary school through high school, and some I worked with. But even though I don’t have that many “friends”, the ones I do have hold special memories for me. But I have one friend who is not here. I lost him in junior high school. His name was Chuck.
In my area of the planet, when you graduate from elementary school, you go to a junior high school that brings kids together from a fairly wide area of the city. So for me, I met new people at Lemon Grove Jr. High. One of those people was Chuck. He was a year older than I was, but we hit it off immediately!
I don’t know if Chuck was gay but he had effeminate characteristics. It didn’t matter to me, I just liked him. He was one of those people who always had a smile on his face and made you feel good. He was smart and funny and you liked to be around him. He had lots of friends and EVERYONE knew him. If you need a visual of what Chuck was like, picture Jack McFarland from Will and Grace, MINUS the narcissism! I remember dancing with him at the school dances and laughing with him in passing in the halls in between classes. He was one of those people who you thought would be successful if only on his personality alone.
Yeah, I remember people saying he was “gay” or calling him a “fag” on many occasions, but it seemed to roll of his back. I don’t know the extent of any physical bullying, but since it was the late 70′s, I wouldn’t doubt that it didn’t happen to Chuck. Again, because he was funny, he was always able to turn torment into laughter. He just had that knack!
The summer after the 7th grade, when we came back to school, the school was hit with the news. Chuck had committed suicide. Many people speculated that he got tired of being harassed, both in his neighborhood or at home and at school because of his “feminine ways.” Either way it was a huge blow to me. I didn’t know what a “Lesbian” was, but I knew I liked girls. And I knew I was “different”, just like Chuck. Chuck was the first of 8 suicides of people that I knew personally. Not ” a friend of a friend” but people I cared about. People who for whatever reason, we connected. On a spiritual level.
With the rash of teen suicides in the last month, at least nine if I count correctly, Chuck has come rushing back to me. That nine teenagers, who haven’t really had the chance to enjoy life, are no longer here. That they saw no other outlet for the bullying except to commit suicide. And that the torment Chuck went through is now global. And how you can be humiliated and have it seen by millions of people, in seconds. Little did I know, I would face something similar myself.
At San Diego City College, there was a rumor that I was a lesbian. No one ever said they saw me with another woman. No one ever said they saw me do anything with any women. What was said is that I “looked” at other women. YUP, that was my crime! Not like Jack Tripper used to look at Chrissy, Janet, and Terry, just looked at them. And I endured semesters of whispers, murmurs, and pointing. And should someone not have known about my “crime”, it was quickly brought to their attention. Luckily for me, most of the people who were “told about me” didn’t seem to care. They continued to talk to me and it didn’t matter. But yes, there were times when I didn’t want to go to class. And times where I was ready to toss people off of the second floor of the building we were on. But I was in my mid twenties and saw the bigger picture. And the fact that I was usually one of the people who always “fucked up the curve”, I was able to get my revenge that way! No one had the balls to come up to my face and say anything. But the murmurs and other crap were aggravating just the same.
Continue reading “Chuck” »
24
The latest salvo in the Same Couple Marriage debate, was a “bikini model” masquerading as a Miss USA candidate, speaking for the “whole country, saying that marriage is between a man and a women.” And this is what was taught to her in her home mind you. What galls me is that while people are more than within their right to state their bigoted opinions, those opinions affect people’s lives. Within the last two weeks, two bright preteen boys committed suicide because they were being bullied and teased MERCILESSLY because they were thought to be gay. Another kid, 17yr old Eric Mohat, was told to go ahead and commit suicide, because “no one will miss you.” It is in this climate of BIGOTRY, HATE, and INTOLERANCE, that the way to keep “someone in their place” is to call them “gay!”
That two kids committed suicide because of being teased at school has pretty much gone unnoticed. Kids tease other kids. Boys will be boys. But for those two kids, it obviously was more than that. That days of upon days, weeks upon weeks, and months upon months, of being called “fag“, “queer“, “homo“, and “gay” took their toll of these young boy’s self esteem. And even when the mother’s of these two boys continually called to try and resolve this situation, it was met with a blind eye and a deaf ear. When the government requires that you attend school, doesn’t the government have the obligation to make sure it is safe, physically and emotionally, to be there?
As I stated in an ealier post, I was teased in college about “looking” at girls. Nothing to the extent that these kids went through but yeah, it got old quickly. So I know EXACTLY how they felt. For me, the torment would be intermittent and last no more than 3 hours, depending on the class. I can’t imagine being someplace for 6 or more hours and treated to choruses of verbal abuse. So even when they woke up in great moods, ready to tackle the world, within minutes of being in school, that state of mind was under assault, on a daily basis, for no good reason.
Continue reading “No one will ever miss you!” »
07
Let me begin by saying this. I have been in a similar situation that this young lady was in. But unlike her, I did not create the situation. It was created for me. And I probably felt just as bad as she did. The difference is that I am still here and she isn’t. Maybe age had something to do with it. Or maybe the fact that I’m not going out like that is the reason I’m still here. But either way, I feel little sympathy for her. I just DON’T!
I just read an article that stated a young girl committed suicide because of a “sexting” incident. For those of you who don’t know what “sexting” is, it’s sending sexy, nude, or pornographic pictures over your cell phone or other wireless device. This young lady sent the pictures to her then boyfriend, who after they broke up, sent those pictures to other girls, and you can bet the guys already saw them, who proceeded to make her life miserable. Miserable to the point that she hated going to school. And this is where the similarities begin.
At San Diego City College, there was a rumor that I was a lesbian. No one ever said they saw me with another woman. No one ever said they saw me do anything with any women. What was said is that I “looked” at other women. YUP, that was my crime! Not like Jack Tripper used to look at Chrissy, Janet, and Terry, just looked at them. And I endured semesters of whispers, murmurs, and pointing. And should someone not have known about my “crime“, it was quickly brought to their attention. Luckily for me, most of the people who were “told about me” didn’t seem to care. They continued to talk to me and it didn’t matter. But yes, there were times when I didn’t want to go to class. And times where I was ready to toss people off of the second floor of the building we were on. But I was in my mid twenties and saw the bigger picture. And the fact that I was usually one of the people who always “fucked up the curve“, I was able to get my revenge that way! No one had the balls to come up to my face and say anything. But the murmurs and other crap were aggravating just the same.
Continue reading “Prepare to be offended … Oh Well!” »