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If you have been reading my posts on a regular basis, you know that I spent five years working for a Non-Profit Teen Drug and Alcohol treatment center. Some of the teens were teen mothers and fathers. One of my “hats” was as the Intake Coordinator. I explained the treatment program to the teen and his or her parents or guardians. I also explained the rules or our center. And lastly, I explained how all of this fit in with their probation. Early on I learned not to ask certain questions to the teens in front of their parents because I would either get the “gee, I only used drugs one time, and that was the time I got arrested” answer. Or they would lie and say they used every drug under the sun to watch their parents eyes role around in their heads. Or they would say that they were sexually active when they weren’t or say they they had never had sex when they were either pregnant or had gotten their girlfriend pregnant. So on the first day of treatment, I would complete the intake process. And I would always add another question to the “intake form.” I would ask the teens, “where do you see yourself in six months, one year, and five years.” Yup, the same questions we are asked on job interviews. And to my horror, the last answer was usually “dead.”
The Drug and Alcohol Treatment center where I worked was in the “inner city“, but we had teens of all ages, races, sexes, sexual preferences, and income levels, at our center. And while 90% of the teens involved in the treatment center were there because they were on probation, some were brought in by their parents who were concerned about their erratic behavior. But in completing the intake process, I found a common tread running through 85% of the teens in the program. A fatalistic view of of their future. While some kinds might have been in the “wrong place at the wrong time”, some of the kids were just “living their lives to the fullest.” Or living “La Vida Loca.” (The Crazy Life) And the things they admitted to having participated in shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone who was paying attention.
Whether you live eighty-three or twenty-three years, you want all the things in life that you are supposed to HAVE and experience all the things you are SUPPOSED to experience. Whether those things or experiences are things that society puts into your head or things that you actually want, you expect them to occur. So it shouldn’t surprise ANYONE that becoming a teen parent is something that is no longer looked upon as a bad thing by teenagers. And we shouldn’t be surprised that teens are driving before they either have a driver’s license or are even old enough to drive. And we shouldn’t be surprised when they begin to drink alcohol before they are old enough to do so. And we shouldn’t be surprised that teen suicides and shooting up a school or mall are occurring at an alarming pace. And getting money, by any means necessary, shouldn’t surprise anyone when everywhere they look, the things only money can buy are all around them. And why “instant gratification” isn’t a bad thing. If you don’t see yourself living past the age of twenty-three, wouldn’t you try and cram as much “living” into those years as possible?
An article that is to appear in the July issue of Pediatrics, has come to this EXACT same conclusion. The old way of thinking, that teens act irresponsibly because they think “nothing can happen to me” is giving way to what my unofficial findings proved. That there are many teens who don’t see much of a future, or one at all, so they are going to “live hard, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse.”
With an economy that is in the toilet, and a future that is even scaring their parents, is there any wonder that teen’s feelings are what they are? This is probably the first generation that will not do as well as their parents. And with a future that no one can predict, thinking you will not live to “retirement age” shouldn’t come as a shock. The question is this. Are we as a society willing to accept “dead” as a lifestyle choice?
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